Tuesday, May 18, 2010

pluck teeth

hmm..they pluck my teeth 2day..how long more u wanna bleed leh???u've been bleeding for hours leh...sob sob..y is beauty so important in dis world?ppl keep on pressuring others with beauty..da doctor told me da treatment i get is juz a compromising one..da main prob is my face muscle..my muscle is thicker thn others,it makes my face look 90 degree..but my chin is 2 small..tat's y my teeth looks weird..the actual treatment i shud get is 2 surgically cut off some of my face muscles n pull my chin..tat means it would juz help a little by wearin braces..haix..

i won't hav surgery.no.but wearin braces does not help much.part of me didn wanna do da braces after hearin tat.i wanna be proud of myself,not of wad i look,but my true self.but i had 2 do braces anyway,coz dad says even if it oni helps a little,it stil helps.he says i'll realise da importance of looks whn i get into da society..

y is look so important??dis is how i look,does it matter much if im a good person n do well in work?y do the society keep on pressuring with outer beauty??can't anyone see past looks into ppl's hearts,ppl's personality?can't we juz sense it through others?

maybe im juz bein sensitive.i tend 2 look on da world on the sensible side 2 much,tat's y im so straight n trust others very easily..reality is harsh,i keep tellin myself,but part of me didn wanna believe it..well,wad can do except juz accept da fact

but i won't hav surgery for my face.i won't hav it.i like my natural self n i dun like bein fake.i dun wanna be fake!!!i accept n love myself for who i am,n i hope you can do so too..tat's all for now :)

Friday, May 14, 2010


thr're alot of unanswered ques in me..

i dun think i need 2 tell anybody wad im doin,as long as i know wad im doin lo..我觉得我不需要向你交代什么,我已经把我的心意表达得很清楚,请别践踏别人的自尊,别继续毁坏你在我心中的形象,践踏你自己。难道你真得那么可怜,眼里只看到缺点,嘴里只能说出变态还有攻击的话,只会做出伤人自尊的动作吗?maybe our mindsets are different la..but nvm,i won't be hurt by u anymore,u won't affect me d coz i got my frens n my blog 2 deal wit it^^

well..haha..so much of emo crap..haha..im currently trainin myself 2 drink more water as i really lack water..smtimes whole day oso i drink not until 500ml..scary..now 2 avoid fatigue n other health prob(especially liver) i better drink regular water..3litre 1 day at least..try 2 acoomplish..tat blackout exp n my fatigue alerted me..so if u see me pls remind me 2 drink water lo hehe:)

hmm..i guess tat's all..haha..byebye..nights..muacx^^

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

factual essay by hao hao

Our discipline has gone from bad to worse nowadays. Students are doing now what would have been labelled as "insanity" by students 20 years ago. Our children are doing what students 20 years ago would only dream of. There is not even a hint of surprise when we open the newspapers and read about crimes commited by youngsters. Is this what we wanted of our children? Surely there must be a way, some alternative, effort done to prevent this phenomenon from becoming catastrophic.

First, we must train ourselves to become a "counsellor". See, when people hear about disciplinary problems, they would turn to teachers or specifically counselling teachers in the school. Yes, counselling teachers should put in extra effort in their post, but ask yourself, how many students would actually talk heart to heart with counselling teachers. When we are down, we tend to wish someone close would open their ears, not some counselling teachers who you don't really know. We must open our eyes and ears, motivate people around you, help them up when they are down, show them that thye are not alone, that you are there with them, giving support morally to overcome their adversaries. Let there be love.

Still, school rules should be tightened and strictly enforced. We realise that sometimes some people (the hard core ones) don't change with counselling. This is because they tend to view counselling as "an act of consolence to weaklings". So, they pretend to be strong, ignoring the love given to them, doin silly stuff to get attention yet not admitting they need attention. Now school rules have to be enforced against these people, give severe warning for a few times, then apply surveillance against them, and if our effort comes to no avail, expulsion from school is necessary. Public caning should also be considered by the school to ensure that these people will think twice before they break any school rules. Now, this might seem cruel, but for the problematic ones, we are actually trying to help them, if only they could see our intentions, we just want to prevent them from doing something that they will regret in the future. We want to save them before it is too late.

Other than that, parents also play a pivotal role in the healing of our younger generation. This is because parents know their children since they are young. Show good example, open their innocent eyes towards this world, show them the path for young minds tend to get lost in this phony-ballony world. Please accept your children's weaknesses, love them for who they are, for there is no bond stronger than the bond between parents and the children. Do not deny nor complain for you children's fault, see the greatness of fate, for in millions of people, God has chosen us to be their parents.

I know that sometimes we just get fed up, to see our effort, the gift of our love trampled by them, to see years of hard work crumble before us just for their need of fun, of pure pleasure which are just poisoning them. Sometimes, we just feel like giving up. But I have seen some who would not give up, some who would love their child fully even though they know they might not be loved the way they have loved their children. Some who would fight on even when all hope is lost. All I ask of you, please have faith, fot it is not all our children's fault, they are just lost, they just don't realise that being lost is just so close to being found. We must show them, even though we're not sure how, love will always show us our way. Have faith, people, have faith.
since i found out i hav 2 hav a place 2 express my feelings n everyone has their own agenda n i can't trouble y'all everytime wit my expression,i'll reblog again 2 let out.. :)

lately i had alot on my mind..well..i hav 2 sides in me,1 major part of me is jovial n easy-goin,n another part is often negative(i mean,emo) n lately things happened n they juz struck me all in a heap..so i guess i was "attacked" and couldn't find my breathe.as a result i dun mix around,keep quiet most of da time coz i was afraid i wil burst.BOM!!!when i dun feel right abt smbody,or angry,or upset,i keep quiet.coz i know if i said smting i would hav said it idioticallyn cause quarrel.but i couldn't take it anymore.like a volcano full wit larva,i erupted tat day whn i had a quarrel wit ivan.i dunno y he quarrel wit me oso.i juz wanna make myself clear..n the expression on his face tat moment struck me.couldn't believe..are u another person??...well..i didn't wanna talk 2 u..in fact i dun wanna forgive u..ever..but i dunno y i did 2day..subconciously..guess im not much of an avenger...?but i wil NEVER forget ur expression,never ever.

anyway..i felt better after exploding for 1 whole day..after talkin 2 kye wei n all..and tryin 2 deal wit it in school..i returned 2 myself da next nxt day..but 1 ting remained..my anxiety..i dunno wad caused it..maybe da controllin had made me aware??and i think 2 much??i found out i can't stop..even in my sleep..imagine livin a day twice,1 in reality n 1 in ur dreams..it's horrible..n on sports day..becoz of chances n time factor..i din eat any meal fr morn til afternoon n i rushed here n thr helpin tcher n managin stuffs..n even went marchin under da damn hot sun..as a result,i blackout after singin da patriotic songs..juz for a few seconds la,no worries,i get tat quite frequently since these few yrs..whenever i dun hav enuf energy or blood im prone 2 blackouts..dark spots materialise n i can't continue doin wad i was..if not i'll totally go blank n fall..smtimes my face gets white,smtimes i vomit,smtimes i out of breathe so hav 2 run 2 smwhr n sit or lie..wad happen 2 me leh???dis time i fell over pek's shoulders,which has never happened b4 despite all da problems..n she had 2 assist me back 2 da tent..on da way i stayed strong,tryin 2 keep myself awake n breathe..i can hear sounds but my feet were like wobbly n whn i open my eyes..i can't see anyting..tat's abit scary..my directions had 2 depend on sm1 else..>.<

n we celebrated kye wei n king's bday 2..nice party we had..n had mother's day 2gether wit mum's bday..shh dun wanna say da details..

and..oo..i read bro's essay n it was well done :) i'll post them if i hav time..tat's all for now ba..n I HATE KLK..STOP ASKIN ME 2 PREPARE!!! hehe byebye