since i found out i hav 2 hav a place 2 express my feelings n everyone has their own agenda n i can't trouble y'all everytime wit my expression,i'll reblog again 2 let out.. :)

lately i had alot on my mind..well..i hav 2 sides in me,1 major part of me is jovial n easy-goin,n another part is often negative(i mean,emo) n lately things happened n they juz struck me all in a heap..so i guess i was "attacked" and couldn't find my breathe.as a result i dun mix around,keep quiet most of da time coz i was afraid i wil burst.BOM!!!when i dun feel right abt smbody,or angry,or upset,i keep quiet.coz i know if i said smting i would hav said it idioticallyn cause quarrel.but i couldn't take it anymore.like a volcano full wit larva,i erupted tat day whn i had a quarrel wit ivan.i dunno y he quarrel wit me oso.i juz wanna make myself clear..n the expression on his face tat moment struck me.couldn't believe..are u another person??...well..i didn't wanna talk 2 u..in fact i dun wanna forgive u..ever..but i dunno y i did 2day..subconciously..guess im not much of an avenger...?but i wil NEVER forget ur expression,never ever.

anyway..i felt better after exploding for 1 whole day..after talkin 2 kye wei n all..and tryin 2 deal wit it in school..i returned 2 myself da next nxt day..but 1 ting remained..my anxiety..i dunno wad caused it..maybe da controllin had made me aware??and i think 2 much??i found out i can't stop..even in my sleep..imagine livin a day twice,1 in reality n 1 in ur dreams..it's horrible..n on sports day..becoz of chances n time factor..i din eat any meal fr morn til afternoon n i rushed here n thr helpin tcher n managin stuffs..n even went marchin under da damn hot sun..as a result,i blackout after singin da patriotic songs..juz for a few seconds la,no worries,i get tat quite frequently since these few yrs..whenever i dun hav enuf energy or blood im prone 2 blackouts..dark spots materialise n i can't continue doin wad i was..if not i'll totally go blank n fall..smtimes my face gets white,smtimes i vomit,smtimes i out of breathe so hav 2 run 2 smwhr n sit or lie..wad happen 2 me leh???dis time i fell over pek's shoulders,which has never happened b4 despite all da problems..n she had 2 assist me back 2 da tent..on da way i stayed strong,tryin 2 keep myself awake n breathe..i can hear sounds but my feet were like wobbly n whn i open my eyes..i can't see anyting..tat's abit scary..my directions had 2 depend on sm1 else..>.<

n we celebrated kye wei n king's bday 2..nice party we had..n had mother's day 2gether wit mum's bday..shh dun wanna say da details..

and..oo..i read bro's essay n it was well done :) i'll post them if i hav time..tat's all for now ba..n I HATE KLK..STOP ASKIN ME 2 PREPARE!!! hehe byebye