Today,I would like to write in English about my feelings. I feel afraid, although as much as I tell myself that I can't admit being afraid, fearing it would affect my confidence. Afraid of the past, the sins of my past haunt me, I actually realised it's only in my mind and I can't care too much about the past. First, I can't change it, so there's no point crying over spilt milk. But I'm human. Man tends to look back at something that has already happened and ask "what if"? That's how the feeling of regret is born, Sometimes I feel funny, because when I look back, although I asked myself "what if?" But then I asked my deeper conscience, that if I were given a chanc again, what would I choose?Funny and amusing enough, I would choose the same path that I've taken. Yes, the path I've taken has brought uncertanties, but I followed what I felt was right. I did things using my heart, not my brain, and I think the result matters less. Some might choose to call me arrogant, stupid, stubborn, ignorant.Some might choose to call me beautiful, sexy, artistic. In fact, they're both right. See, people see what they chose to see. They wished to see something the way they want, and in their eyes that is the truth. But a truly wise person will know that what they feel might not be correct. Everyone has a different answer and we can't be too arrogant to deny others' answers. The sky is filled with cloud. Two people are looking up at the sky. One sees a bird, another sees a fish. No one is right, no one is wrong. It's just a bunch of clouds, signifying nothing. But our minds decide what they signify. And there are countless possibilities. So at the same time of being nothing, the cloud is signifying everyhing. Okay, let's change to another topic. My father asked me to sing to him today. I sang and while I sang he laughed. And the most natural feeling comes, awkwardness, inconfidence, but of course, I, myself, am the owner of my feelings, therefore I can choose to be happy all the time if I want to. But I'm human. Human nature, something that comes so naturally, seems so impossible to defy or control. It comes so quickly, so suddenly, and before we know it we're commiting sins and are soon showing the ugly side of mankind. It is human nature that raised various problems that happens in our world. Racism, hatred, anger, war. Things that seemingly occur at a large scale but actually comes from each and every human being. It seems impossible to stop these things because it is already impossible to constantly banish the bad, nasty human nature out of a person, needless to say millions of people.
But still, people dream, dream of a day when miracle would come, when an utopia can truly be built. But still, those people have to be careful. They cannot call those war-makers and extremists wrong, because they only have a different point of view. Each living thing is only struggling and fighting for their cause, what they felt is right. Maybe someday if someone dominates the world and can still be fair and just, then people rebel, throwing the dominator off his throne, starting the circle all over again. So can we blame a country trying to suppress another major power? Maybe supreme control might bring peace. Who knows for sure? But then, as I said, there are two sides to of a story. Often has man reached a certain height of glory, only to be brought down by sins of pride. Being proud, as in one of the human nature, man will start to bring jealousy, man will turn into a monster, ravaged by pride. So, okay, maybe you can say "so? what if you tell me these things?" Yeah, I mean a mere average joe, like us, just trying to make ends meet, what change can we possibly bring to the world? But, if there is a choice, would it have been better to know or just remain ignorant towards this knowledge? You choose.
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